2006 blog recap
Filed under: rewind pause play
JANUARY
-- started this blog on the 17th. apparently, i still wasn't "over" 3 months after the breakup. haha.
-- i actually said, "i can't wait to graduate." how i wish that i'm still studying.
-- jan 22 milestone: i saw Mick Foley!!!!
-- the beginning of my football/photography life :)
FEBRUARY
-- more football.
-- wrote the job description thingie. hehe. silly me.
-- apparently, i still wasn't over after 4 months.
-- feb 21: "hay nako, pag ako talaga nagkatrabaho, pag-iipunan ko talaga ang magandang camera." DONE.
-- WWE raw live in manila!!!
-- it's a small world after all: found out that oj and pril are childhood friends.
MARCH
-- the last week of school :(
-- the beginning of THE DREADED YET INEVITABLE
-- nabawasan ang katorpehan sa mundo.
-- and of course, graduation.
APRIL
-- april 7 post: hindi ko na ito matandaan. hehe.
-- april 13:
addicted to the Sandman Series. GOT ALL.
"wishlist: * a new cellphone * a new laptop * a JOB * a boy." GOT ALL FOUR.
-- apparently i can't say "no" to him.
MAY
-- two words to describe this month: BORED and JOBLESS.
JUNE
-- june 7: the interview that changed my life. "i hate this maturity thing because i suck at it." AND I STILL DO.
-- can now say that i'm over. finally.
-- realized that i took the wrong course. haha.
-- my first encounter with an ob-gyne.
JULY
-- THE BEGINNING.
-- predicted that France will win the World Cup. haha. couldn't be more wrong.
-- july 8: the only time after graduation we roommates ever got together.
-- start of the UAAP basketball season! and yes, i watched and will still watch in the future.
-- july 17: watched a game with eboy and coloy. eboy would be leaving for LA the next day.
-- july 24: the one with the latin quotes.
-- .. and then i thought things would be better.
AUGUST
-- aug 27: to someone i really care about.
-- getting needier and needier.
-- "i really miss being in a relationship." NOT ANYMORE.
-- aug 28: got confined (for the third time!) due to acute gastritis and dehydration.
SEPTEMBER
-- sept 15: the "you-know-you're-getting-old-when.." post. haha. this list is supposedly getting longer.
-- more missing
-- more UAAP basketball
-- and yes, the day i turned 21.
OCTOBER
-- dreams, UAAP, and the ex.. not much happened this month.
-- and of course, there's october 30. good day, good day.
NOVEMBER
-- reunited with one of my loves: painting. :)
-- lost my voice
-- reunited with football!
-- nov 25: entered a relationship. :)
DECEMBER
-- getting more and more frustrated with you-know-what
-- dec 21: MALCOLM
and this is my year according to this blog. it has been one hell of an emotional roller-coaster ride, but surprisingly, the year doesn't seem that bad at all. more room for improvement. haha.
til next year.
-- started this blog on the 17th. apparently, i still wasn't "over" 3 months after the breakup. haha.
-- i actually said, "i can't wait to graduate." how i wish that i'm still studying.
-- jan 22 milestone: i saw Mick Foley!!!!
-- the beginning of my football/photography life :)
FEBRUARY
-- more football.
-- wrote the job description thingie. hehe. silly me.
-- apparently, i still wasn't over after 4 months.
-- feb 21: "hay nako, pag ako talaga nagkatrabaho, pag-iipunan ko talaga ang magandang camera." DONE.
-- WWE raw live in manila!!!
-- it's a small world after all: found out that oj and pril are childhood friends.
MARCH
-- the last week of school :(
-- the beginning of THE DREADED YET INEVITABLE
-- nabawasan ang katorpehan sa mundo.
-- and of course, graduation.
APRIL
-- april 7 post: hindi ko na ito matandaan. hehe.
-- april 13:
addicted to the Sandman Series. GOT ALL.
"wishlist: * a new cellphone * a new laptop * a JOB * a boy." GOT ALL FOUR.
-- apparently i can't say "no" to him.
MAY
-- two words to describe this month: BORED and JOBLESS.
JUNE
-- june 7: the interview that changed my life. "i hate this maturity thing because i suck at it." AND I STILL DO.
-- can now say that i'm over. finally.
-- realized that i took the wrong course. haha.
-- my first encounter with an ob-gyne.
JULY
-- THE BEGINNING.
-- predicted that France will win the World Cup. haha. couldn't be more wrong.
-- july 8: the only time after graduation we roommates ever got together.
-- start of the UAAP basketball season! and yes, i watched and will still watch in the future.
-- july 17: watched a game with eboy and coloy. eboy would be leaving for LA the next day.
-- july 24: the one with the latin quotes.
-- .. and then i thought things would be better.
AUGUST
-- aug 27: to someone i really care about.
-- getting needier and needier.
-- "i really miss being in a relationship." NOT ANYMORE.
-- aug 28: got confined (for the third time!) due to acute gastritis and dehydration.
SEPTEMBER
-- sept 15: the "you-know-you're-getting-old-when.." post. haha. this list is supposedly getting longer.
-- more missing
-- more UAAP basketball
-- and yes, the day i turned 21.
OCTOBER
-- dreams, UAAP, and the ex.. not much happened this month.
-- and of course, there's october 30. good day, good day.
NOVEMBER
-- reunited with one of my loves: painting. :)
-- lost my voice
-- reunited with football!
-- nov 25: entered a relationship. :)
DECEMBER
-- getting more and more frustrated with you-know-what
-- dec 21: MALCOLM
and this is my year according to this blog. it has been one hell of an emotional roller-coaster ride, but surprisingly, the year doesn't seem that bad at all. more room for improvement. haha.
til next year.
movies in 2006
Filed under: lights camera popcorn
2006 is movie year for me :) mukhang mas yumaman ako ngayong taon na ito-- sa sinehan na ako nanonood at hindi sa dibidi!
(not in chronological order, and only as far as i can remember):
sana mas madami pa sa 2007 :)
(not in chronological order, and only as far as i can remember):
- She's The Man
- Ice Age: The Meltdown
- Goal!
- The Wild
- Mission: Impossible III
- The Da Vinci Code
- Crash
- Brokeback Mountain
- X-Men: The Last Stand
- Failure To Launch
- The Omen (remake)
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
- John Tucker Must Die
- Talladega Nights
- Lady In The Water
- Sukob
- Kubrador
- The Devil Wears Prada
- The Prestige
- The Grudge 2 (US version)
- Friends With Money
- The Departed
- Marie Antoinette
- Casino Royale
- Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
- Happy Feet
- Kasal, Kasali, Kasalo
- Matakot Ka sa Karma
sana mas madami pa sa 2007 :)
hindi talaga bagay sa akin ang masaya. hindi ko rin naman kayang magpanggap. kaya't eto, nagpapakatotoo na ulit ako, bago pa man matapos ang taon.
ang totoo ay napakalungkot ko. nakakatawa pa nga dahil mas madalas na akong umiyak ngayon kaysa dati. hindi na yata problema ang kakulangan ng tubig sa dalas ng pag-iyak ko.
ang totoo ay hindi ko alam ang dapat kong gawin. may mga nagsasabi na sundin ko ang aking puso, sa alam kong makapagpapasaya sa akin. may mga nagsasabi naman na sundin ko ang aking isip, dahil ang kasiyahan naman ay estado ng isipan lamang. nakakatawa, dahil hindi naman pag-ibig lamang ang pinag-uusapan. sana nga, pero hindi eh.
ang totoo ay nasasakal na ako.
ang totoo ay gusto ko nang sumuko.
ang totoo ay gusto ko nang maglaho.
ang totoo ay wala naman talaga akong mapagpipilian, wala na akong ibang magagawa. nakakadena na, nakakandado pa. wala talagang lusot.
ang totoo ay ayokong makadamay pa ng iba sa kalungkutan ko.
ang totoo ay mas sumasama ang loob ko sa tuwing may nangagamusta sa akin.
ang totoo ay ayokong biguin ang mga naniniwala sa akin.
ang totoo ay halos imposibleng makapagpasaya ng tao kung hindi ko nga kayang pasiyahin ang aking sarili.
ang totoo ay nahihirapan na akong gawin ang tama, ang dapat. pero kaya nga tinawag na "tama" -- dahil mahirap itong gawin.
mas madali dati.
ang totoo ay kasalanan ko kung bakit ako nasa ganitong sitwasyon.
ang totoo ay natural na sa akin ang pagiging malungkot at ang kakaiba ay ang aking pagiging masaya.
ang masaklap ngunit totoo: sanay na ako dito.
ang totoo ay napakalungkot ko. nakakatawa pa nga dahil mas madalas na akong umiyak ngayon kaysa dati. hindi na yata problema ang kakulangan ng tubig sa dalas ng pag-iyak ko.
ang totoo ay hindi ko alam ang dapat kong gawin. may mga nagsasabi na sundin ko ang aking puso, sa alam kong makapagpapasaya sa akin. may mga nagsasabi naman na sundin ko ang aking isip, dahil ang kasiyahan naman ay estado ng isipan lamang. nakakatawa, dahil hindi naman pag-ibig lamang ang pinag-uusapan. sana nga, pero hindi eh.
ang totoo ay nasasakal na ako.
ang totoo ay gusto ko nang sumuko.
ang totoo ay gusto ko nang maglaho.
ang totoo ay wala naman talaga akong mapagpipilian, wala na akong ibang magagawa. nakakadena na, nakakandado pa. wala talagang lusot.
ang totoo ay ayokong makadamay pa ng iba sa kalungkutan ko.
ang totoo ay mas sumasama ang loob ko sa tuwing may nangagamusta sa akin.
ang totoo ay ayokong biguin ang mga naniniwala sa akin.
ang totoo ay halos imposibleng makapagpasaya ng tao kung hindi ko nga kayang pasiyahin ang aking sarili.
ang totoo ay nahihirapan na akong gawin ang tama, ang dapat. pero kaya nga tinawag na "tama" -- dahil mahirap itong gawin.
mas madali dati.
ang totoo ay kasalanan ko kung bakit ako nasa ganitong sitwasyon.
ang totoo ay natural na sa akin ang pagiging malungkot at ang kakaiba ay ang aking pagiging masaya.
ang masaklap ngunit totoo: sanay na ako dito.
What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
WORK.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i didn't keep ANY of my new year's resolutions, but then again, i'll probably make more for next year.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
ate ella gave birth to agnes coelli (i think that's the spelling) two months ago
Did anyone close to you die?
nope
What countries did you visit?
um.. none?
What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
passion for work and commitment to relationships
What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
hmm, tough question. i would say nov25. :)
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting a job.
What was your biggest failure?
getting a job.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
yep! being the clumsy person that i am, i had a lot of bruises. i also got hospitalized for dehydration. and i also lost my voice. haha.
What was the best thing you bought?
i haven't really paid for it yet, but it's malcolm. :)
Whose behavior merited celebration?
mine!
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
mine!
Where did most of your money go?
oh crap i can't/don't want to remember.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
malcolm!
What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
will get back to this.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -- can't really tell.
ii. thinner or fatter? -- not necessarily thinner, but i weigh less than last year
iii. richer or poorer? -- richer!!!
What do you wish you'd done more?
exercise and be more positive
What do you wish you'd done less of?
rant
How many one-night stands?
none!
What was your favorite TV program?
don't really watch tv that often.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope!
What was the best book you read?
can't really decide which from the sandman series
What was your greatest musical discovery?
toss up: scissor sisters, feist, gnarls barkley, lily allen, razorlight, the vincent black shadow and regina spektor
What did you want and get?
malcolm!!!! :)
What was your favorite film of this year?
the prestige
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
um, some team blue thing. i turned 21. ewwwww.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
getting a job that i would actually like.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
i have incorporated yuppie-wear into my wardrobe...and high heels!
What kept you sane?
friends, aeo and practicality.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
brandon boyd-- i will always "fancy" you!!!
What political issue stirred you the most?
what politics?
Who did you miss?
ateneo friends.
Who was the best new person you met?
hindi ba obvious??
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
your pick: what you want is not necessarily the best for you, money is not everything, and sometimes you just have to suck it up.
What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
that i make that person happy. :)
The most touching experience you've had this year?
i quote: "That is too special to share."
What did you like most about yourself this year?
my bitchiness.
What did you hate most about yourself this year?
my bitchiness. hehe.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
let me get back to this.
Was 2006 a good year for you?
if by good you mean that i was happy? maybe not. if by good you mean experiencing new things, then yes.
What was your favorite moment of the year?
again, i'll get back to this.
What was your least favorite moment of the year?
hmm, a lot to chose from...
Where were you when 2006 began?
in my house
Who were you with?
my family
Where will you be when 2006 ends?
in my house
Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
my family
Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?
to quit smoking, to try more to like what i do, and to be braver in all things.
What was your favorite month of 2006?
december :)
Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006?
fortunately, no
Did you miss anybody in the past year?
yes! a lot of friends...
What was your favorite record from 2006?
Ta-Dah by the Scissor Sisters
How many concerts did you see in 2006?
waaah!!! sadly only a few gigs...
Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2006?
YEP.
Do a lot of drugs in 2006?
well, not exactly a lot.
You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
hahahhahahaaha.
How much money did you spend in 2006?
A LOT.
What was your proudest moment of 2006?
graduating!
What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
again: hahahahahhaahha.
If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?
i would've took more time in finding a job and not accept the first thing that was offered to me.
What are your plans for 2007?
learn to drive (again), get better at photography
How are you different now that the year has ended?
(i would like to think that) i have become more mature
What are your wishes for the new year?
i wish that i would be happier next year.
WORK.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i didn't keep ANY of my new year's resolutions, but then again, i'll probably make more for next year.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
ate ella gave birth to agnes coelli (i think that's the spelling) two months ago
Did anyone close to you die?
nope
What countries did you visit?
um.. none?
What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
passion for work and commitment to relationships
What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
hmm, tough question. i would say nov25. :)
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting a job.
What was your biggest failure?
getting a job.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
yep! being the clumsy person that i am, i had a lot of bruises. i also got hospitalized for dehydration. and i also lost my voice. haha.
What was the best thing you bought?
i haven't really paid for it yet, but it's malcolm. :)
Whose behavior merited celebration?
mine!
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
mine!
Where did most of your money go?
oh crap i can't/don't want to remember.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
malcolm!
What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
will get back to this.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -- can't really tell.
ii. thinner or fatter? -- not necessarily thinner, but i weigh less than last year
iii. richer or poorer? -- richer!!!
What do you wish you'd done more?
exercise and be more positive
What do you wish you'd done less of?
rant
How many one-night stands?
none!
What was your favorite TV program?
don't really watch tv that often.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope!
What was the best book you read?
can't really decide which from the sandman series
What was your greatest musical discovery?
toss up: scissor sisters, feist, gnarls barkley, lily allen, razorlight, the vincent black shadow and regina spektor
What did you want and get?
malcolm!!!! :)
What was your favorite film of this year?
the prestige
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
um, some team blue thing. i turned 21. ewwwww.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
getting a job that i would actually like.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
i have incorporated yuppie-wear into my wardrobe...and high heels!
What kept you sane?
friends, aeo and practicality.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
brandon boyd-- i will always "fancy" you!!!
What political issue stirred you the most?
what politics?
Who did you miss?
ateneo friends.
Who was the best new person you met?
hindi ba obvious??
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
your pick: what you want is not necessarily the best for you, money is not everything, and sometimes you just have to suck it up.
What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
that i make that person happy. :)
The most touching experience you've had this year?
i quote: "That is too special to share."
What did you like most about yourself this year?
my bitchiness.
What did you hate most about yourself this year?
my bitchiness. hehe.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
let me get back to this.
Was 2006 a good year for you?
if by good you mean that i was happy? maybe not. if by good you mean experiencing new things, then yes.
What was your favorite moment of the year?
again, i'll get back to this.
What was your least favorite moment of the year?
hmm, a lot to chose from...
Where were you when 2006 began?
in my house
Who were you with?
my family
Where will you be when 2006 ends?
in my house
Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
my family
Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?
to quit smoking, to try more to like what i do, and to be braver in all things.
What was your favorite month of 2006?
december :)
Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006?
fortunately, no
Did you miss anybody in the past year?
yes! a lot of friends...
What was your favorite record from 2006?
Ta-Dah by the Scissor Sisters
How many concerts did you see in 2006?
waaah!!! sadly only a few gigs...
Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2006?
YEP.
Do a lot of drugs in 2006?
well, not exactly a lot.
You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
hahahhahahaaha.
How much money did you spend in 2006?
A LOT.
What was your proudest moment of 2006?
graduating!
What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
again: hahahahahhaahha.
If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?
i would've took more time in finding a job and not accept the first thing that was offered to me.
What are your plans for 2007?
learn to drive (again), get better at photography
How are you different now that the year has ended?
(i would like to think that) i have become more mature
What are your wishes for the new year?
i wish that i would be happier next year.
the post-christmas post
Filed under: just rambling
(yeah, i REALLY suck at titles.)
i've been trying to post a lot recently, mainly because i want to end the year with a hundred posts. haha. anyway, sharing lang.
----------
christmas season = MMFF season. hehe. watched Juday's Kasal, Kasali, Kasalo (yes, sumali na rin ako sa juday-ism. hehehehe.) not the greatest movie, but definitely a relate-able movie. it's funny how i have the same reactions as Angie. haha.
----------
christmas is such a hassle. i know that sounds pretty bad, but i really hate christmas shopping. it's okay if you know what the person likes, but if not, then well, it becomes more of a hassle. i don't like giving "generic" gifts. for me, i might as well not give anything at all. then again, there are times--a lot of times-- when you're sort of obliged to give gifts, e.g. to your boss, godchildren, people who gave you gifts, and so on and so forth. which is why i let my mom do the work for me this year. hehe.
----------
when i was (crap, it's already a was) a kid, i received cool toys and cute clothes. a few years ago (crap, it's already a few years ago) as a teenager, i got bags, kikay stuff (although i'm not at all kikay) and other useless stuff. now, as an-- ahem-- a d u l t-- (that was difficult) i mainly recieved food and more useless stuff.
where are all the good stuff?? damn, i am growing old.
----------
i'm extraordinarily happy this christmas-- despite the indigestion (yes, again). even though half of this year basically sucked, i'm still thankful for a lot of things, mainly aeo, malcolm and forever friends. and yes, despite my obvious resentment towards it, i am still thankful that i have a job.
this has been a tough year, but you just have to go through it all. and knowing that i went through all those things (although a huge chunk is still pending) makes me appreciate christmas and the end of the year more and more.
----------
and another addition to our family: (and yes, i forgot how to spell your name. hahahaha.)
----------
i've been trying to post a lot recently, mainly because i want to end the year with a hundred posts. haha. anyway, sharing lang.
----------
christmas season = MMFF season. hehe. watched Juday's Kasal, Kasali, Kasalo (yes, sumali na rin ako sa juday-ism. hehehehe.) not the greatest movie, but definitely a relate-able movie. it's funny how i have the same reactions as Angie. haha.
----------
christmas is such a hassle. i know that sounds pretty bad, but i really hate christmas shopping. it's okay if you know what the person likes, but if not, then well, it becomes more of a hassle. i don't like giving "generic" gifts. for me, i might as well not give anything at all. then again, there are times--a lot of times-- when you're sort of obliged to give gifts, e.g. to your boss, godchildren, people who gave you gifts, and so on and so forth. which is why i let my mom do the work for me this year. hehe.
----------
when i was (crap, it's already a was) a kid, i received cool toys and cute clothes. a few years ago (crap, it's already a few years ago) as a teenager, i got bags, kikay stuff (although i'm not at all kikay) and other useless stuff. now, as an-- ahem-- a d u l t-- (that was difficult) i mainly recieved food and more useless stuff.
where are all the good stuff?? damn, i am growing old.
----------
i'm extraordinarily happy this christmas-- despite the indigestion (yes, again). even though half of this year basically sucked, i'm still thankful for a lot of things, mainly aeo, malcolm and forever friends. and yes, despite my obvious resentment towards it, i am still thankful that i have a job.
this has been a tough year, but you just have to go through it all. and knowing that i went through all those things (although a huge chunk is still pending) makes me appreciate christmas and the end of the year more and more.
----------
and another addition to our family: (and yes, i forgot how to spell your name. hahahaha.)
----------
"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me."- Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
sabi ko nga..
Filed under: just rambling
galing sa isang tula na isinulat ko dati.
bakit pa ako nag-aalangan?
ito na ang aking inaabangan.
mahanap nga yun...
ito na ang aking inaabangan.
mahanap nga yun...
ang saya ko naman
Filed under: trigger happy
one word: malcolm.sa wakas.
name that tune!
Filed under: boredom rules
rules:
step 1: put your MP3/iTunes on random.
step 2: post lyrics from the first 20 songs that play.
step 3: let everyone guess what song & artist the lyrics are from.
step 4: when a song is guessed correctly, strike out the lyrics and post the title in bold.
step 5: googling (or use of any search engine for that matter) = cheating.
----------
this is sooo easy. you can answer this if you at least listen to the radio. enjoy :)
step 1: put your MP3/iTunes on random.
step 2: post lyrics from the first 20 songs that play.
step 3: let everyone guess what song & artist the lyrics are from.
step 4: when a song is guessed correctly, strike out the lyrics and post the title in bold.
step 5: googling (or use of any search engine for that matter) = cheating.
----------
this is sooo easy. you can answer this if you at least listen to the radio. enjoy :)
"...ransom notes keep falling out your mouth midsweet talk, newspaper word cut outs speak no feeling no I don't believe you you don't care a bit, you don't care a bit..."- hide and seek, imogen heap"..She looks like the real thing She tastes like the real thing My Fake Plastic Love. But I can't help the feeling I could blow through the ceiling If I just turn and run.."- fake plastic trees, radiohead- "...We are young, we run green Keep our teeth nice and clean See our friends, see the sights Feel alright We wake up, we go out Smoke a fag, put it out See our friends, see the sights..."
"...You don't have to say, what you did (Don't have to say, what you did)I already know, I found out from him(I already know, uh)Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be(No chance, you and me) And don't it make you sad about it..."- cry me a river, justin timberlake- "This time the glove is latex This time the suit is white New life has found a place It's laid eggs in someone's eye Would I still want control? Even when you don't? Your skin's a lot like plastic Some kind of bad disguise Transfusing blood for paper So sweet, you're drawing flies..."
- "...Rocksteady can't break my world Nobody's ever gonna think twice Oh how I, how I often try Rocksteady can't make that change Nobody's gonna ever rearrange (yeah) As time moves slippin fast Love just won't become, you..."
"Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer. It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal. But lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel..."- drive, incubus- "...The lunatic is in my head. The lunatic is in my head You raise the blade, you make the change You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane. You lock the door And throw away the key There's someone in my head but it's not me...
- "...Could it be so damn naive To hope you could agree? That someone out there's Listening to the same song Feeling the same way that I do.."
- "...I'm a war, of head versus heart, And it's always this way. My head is weak, my heart always speaks, Before I know what it will say..."
"...We write to patch things up, maybe not to agree but to proclaim love. Let's look ahead and then we'll see the one whose glory never ends. And based on that we'll see, there'll be room for change, but gradually..."- embers and envelopes, mae- "...Cause love's such an old fashioned word And love dares you to care For the people on the edge of the night And love dares you to change our way Of caring about ourselves This is our last dance..."
"...Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind..."- my sharona, the knack- "...I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything And the talkin' leads to touchin' and the touchin' leads to sex and then there is no mystery left And It's bad news Baby I'm bad news I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news I know I'm alone if I'm with or without you
but just bein' around you offers me another form of relief When the loneliness leads to bad dreams and the bad dreams lead me to callin' you..." - "...And when you're out there,without care, Yeah, I was out of touch. But it wasn't because I didn't know enough: I just knew too much..."
- "...I'm a minger You're a minger too So come on minger I want to ming with you..."
"...We'll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne We'll let the good times all roll out And if the music ain't good, well it's just too bad We're gonna sing along no matter what..."- take your mama out, scissor sisters"...As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs, And sit alone and wonder, how you're making out. And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out..."- screaming infidelities, dashboard confessional- "...I like to play it discreet, You only wanna shock Spray-paint your, tight jeans on And cruise yourself, it don't feel wrong So take a chance, Give me a shot You think I'm bluffing? I think I'm not Get on your high heels, give me a heart attack I got a question, for your sweet ass..."
- "...Without you there's no me You're the air that I breathe So sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe..."
it's been a while since i've posted something decent here. being incoherently unprofound (if that even makes sense), i'm having trouble writing down the things that have been happening in my life lately.
to start off, i'm in a relationship again. yes, i'm actually in something i thought i'll never go through again. it's hard for me because i've already psyched myself that i'm meant to be alone and that i'm not gonna live to be 30. (psychotically emo, i know, but that's a totally different story/post.) but then again, here i am. i don't really fear getting hurt (been there, done that); i'm more concerned about hurting somebody i care about (because i have this tendency to do so). and it doesn't help knowing that he's so... for a lack of a better all-encompassing term-- perfect, while i'm frustratingly unwell and difficult. i can't help but think that i'm gonna do something i'll regret sooner or later.
so far, things are going well (i think), and honestly, this is the only good thing i have going on nowadays. but i don't want to depend on this too much. if this--knock-on-wood--blows up in my face, then where will i be? what would i be left with? i hope this won't happen, of course. i just hope that i don't mess this up (like i usually do). these things are never easy, but i'm working at it.
----------
i hate work. there, i said it. i thought i'm past this "phase," but apparently, this isn't a phase at all. this is reality, and all the while i have been in denial. i never thought the day'll come when i would dread opening my laptop. i never thought that i would actually NOT care about money. i hate the monotony, the routine, the processes, the hierarchy, the stiffness. i hate being responsible for something i don't care about. i hate feeling drained "at the end of the day" when i haven't done anything. and yes, i hate having to be in business attire all the time.
i know i had a choice when i had to decide whether i'll take this job or not. and now i have a choice whether to keep this job or not. i didn't want to be here, in the first place. but then again, i chose to be here. why do something stupid like that? hmm, let's choose from the following:
a. parental pressure
b. no other job offers
c. impressive compensation
d. boredom
e. time pressure
f. all of the above
and it's not that i'm not trying. on some nights i even go through my materials again and again. but for some reason, i really can't retain all the information. it's been half a year, and i still don't know shit. it sucks, it's frustrating and embarassing. i'm not a very smart person, but i know i'm not this stupid. (but apparently, i am. haha.)
and it doesn't help that expectations are high, which is ironic, because i also expected a lot from this company. so basically, quits lang. basically everybody has been telling me that it's great to work here, that training's great, that i'm privileged to be part of Team Blue, etc. but honestly, i haven't seen any of those. what training? yeah, i attended a couple of classes-- on things that i don't actually use in my "job." i'm part of Team Blue. so what? for some reason, people think that being in Team Blue gives you the skills or whatever to do your job. um, can i just say that it's the biggest bullshit i've encountered here?! all we've done is stay in a room for weeks and "learn" online. whatever. am i wrong to think that to undergo training is to learn what you need to do your job? because frankly, our training has been useless. what i'm doing now has nothing to do with the so-called training that i had. (ok fine, the SSM class was pretty useful.)
and another thing, my so-called position is "System p Sales Specialist." oooh "Sales Specialist." sounds so important. then again, all i've been doing is what i call "latak work." basically, i haven't done anything that i can put on my resume as Work Experience. if that's the case, then how could i [and basically, here comes my plan] resign and apply for a new job? i've been spending 6 months doing bullshit. i haven't been on vacation, and i haven't been actually working. 6 months of draining non-vacation.
if any of my officemates are reading this: i'm sorry if i offended you. but i'm not sorry for being this way because this is how i honestly feel.
for the past 5/6 months, i've been telling myself that i made the right decision, that parents know best, that this is the best path to take, that i'll eventually like what i'm doing. but man, it's been half a year. i mean, how long should i keep on deluding myself?
i used to think that i'm not a quitter, that you can always do what you want to do as long as you set your mind to it. but this is like dancing. there are two things to consider: gracefulness and music. if you don't have any gracefulness whatsoever, you can at least appreciate and go with the music. likewise, even if you don't like the tune, you can always go through the song because you at least know how. in my case, i have neither. now i have come to realize that there are just some things i'm not capable of doing, no matter how hard i try.
actually, i already know what i have to do. the question is: do i have the guts to do what i have to? do i have enough determination to do what i want to do? i'm sick of crying myself to sleep. i'm tired of not pursuing my dreams. i'm sick of not doing what i want to do. oh the decisions we have to make and stand up to! these things are never easy, but i'm gathering the courage to go through it all.
----------
it's difficult going through all these, and knowing that other people also have their issues helps a little. still, i miss being with my friends. i miss having people to turn to at the end of the day. but we're in the real world now, living out our own, separate lives. we have grown together and now we should grow on our own. thank god for monthsaries.
these things are never easy, but these things are also inevitable.
to start off, i'm in a relationship again. yes, i'm actually in something i thought i'll never go through again. it's hard for me because i've already psyched myself that i'm meant to be alone and that i'm not gonna live to be 30. (psychotically emo, i know, but that's a totally different story/post.) but then again, here i am. i don't really fear getting hurt (been there, done that); i'm more concerned about hurting somebody i care about (because i have this tendency to do so). and it doesn't help knowing that he's so... for a lack of a better all-encompassing term-- perfect, while i'm frustratingly unwell and difficult. i can't help but think that i'm gonna do something i'll regret sooner or later.
so far, things are going well (i think), and honestly, this is the only good thing i have going on nowadays. but i don't want to depend on this too much. if this--knock-on-wood--blows up in my face, then where will i be? what would i be left with? i hope this won't happen, of course. i just hope that i don't mess this up (like i usually do). these things are never easy, but i'm working at it.
----------
i hate work. there, i said it. i thought i'm past this "phase," but apparently, this isn't a phase at all. this is reality, and all the while i have been in denial. i never thought the day'll come when i would dread opening my laptop. i never thought that i would actually NOT care about money. i hate the monotony, the routine, the processes, the hierarchy, the stiffness. i hate being responsible for something i don't care about. i hate feeling drained "at the end of the day" when i haven't done anything. and yes, i hate having to be in business attire all the time.
i know i had a choice when i had to decide whether i'll take this job or not. and now i have a choice whether to keep this job or not. i didn't want to be here, in the first place. but then again, i chose to be here. why do something stupid like that? hmm, let's choose from the following:
a. parental pressure
b. no other job offers
c. impressive compensation
d. boredom
e. time pressure
f. all of the above
and it's not that i'm not trying. on some nights i even go through my materials again and again. but for some reason, i really can't retain all the information. it's been half a year, and i still don't know shit. it sucks, it's frustrating and embarassing. i'm not a very smart person, but i know i'm not this stupid. (but apparently, i am. haha.)
and it doesn't help that expectations are high, which is ironic, because i also expected a lot from this company. so basically, quits lang. basically everybody has been telling me that it's great to work here, that training's great, that i'm privileged to be part of Team Blue, etc. but honestly, i haven't seen any of those. what training? yeah, i attended a couple of classes-- on things that i don't actually use in my "job." i'm part of Team Blue. so what? for some reason, people think that being in Team Blue gives you the skills or whatever to do your job. um, can i just say that it's the biggest bullshit i've encountered here?! all we've done is stay in a room for weeks and "learn" online. whatever. am i wrong to think that to undergo training is to learn what you need to do your job? because frankly, our training has been useless. what i'm doing now has nothing to do with the so-called training that i had. (ok fine, the SSM class was pretty useful.)
and another thing, my so-called position is "System p Sales Specialist." oooh "Sales Specialist." sounds so important. then again, all i've been doing is what i call "latak work." basically, i haven't done anything that i can put on my resume as Work Experience. if that's the case, then how could i [and basically, here comes my plan] resign and apply for a new job? i've been spending 6 months doing bullshit. i haven't been on vacation, and i haven't been actually working. 6 months of draining non-vacation.
if any of my officemates are reading this: i'm sorry if i offended you. but i'm not sorry for being this way because this is how i honestly feel.
for the past 5/6 months, i've been telling myself that i made the right decision, that parents know best, that this is the best path to take, that i'll eventually like what i'm doing. but man, it's been half a year. i mean, how long should i keep on deluding myself?
i used to think that i'm not a quitter, that you can always do what you want to do as long as you set your mind to it. but this is like dancing. there are two things to consider: gracefulness and music. if you don't have any gracefulness whatsoever, you can at least appreciate and go with the music. likewise, even if you don't like the tune, you can always go through the song because you at least know how. in my case, i have neither. now i have come to realize that there are just some things i'm not capable of doing, no matter how hard i try.
actually, i already know what i have to do. the question is: do i have the guts to do what i have to? do i have enough determination to do what i want to do? i'm sick of crying myself to sleep. i'm tired of not pursuing my dreams. i'm sick of not doing what i want to do. oh the decisions we have to make and stand up to! these things are never easy, but i'm gathering the courage to go through it all.
----------
it's difficult going through all these, and knowing that other people also have their issues helps a little. still, i miss being with my friends. i miss having people to turn to at the end of the day. but we're in the real world now, living out our own, separate lives. we have grown together and now we should grow on our own. thank god for monthsaries.
these things are never easy, but these things are also inevitable.
may mga bagay na kaya kong tiisin.
Filed under: angsty pantsing
hindi ito isa sa mga bagay na yon.
ayoko na talaga. nabubulok na ako dito.
i want out.
ayoko na talaga. nabubulok na ako dito.
i want out.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Filed under: lights camera popcorn
(because long titles are interesting.)this movie is offensive, disgusting, racist and sexist.
i love it.
it's so stupid that it's actually an intelligent piece of work. it's so wrong that it's just right. it's a low budget film that's getting high revenue.
i was going through some lines from the movie, looking for my "favorite" line. apparently, i can't decide on just one. everything's fucking hilarious.
ang galing
Filed under: boredom rules
You are The Moon
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.
The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.
The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
sakto.
last sunday, mary and i watched the ateneo blue booters battle it out with kaya at the ultra football stadium. kaya won, 1-0.this is the second time i've seen the new lineup. honestly, i think the team is still far from the old team, in terms of confidence and performance. more than half of the 2006 team is gone, hence, there are a lot of rookies in the team and perhaps they are still not that comfortable with each other. i still can't say much about the new players, but i sure miss the old team.
the loss does not even matter. i'm just ridiculously excited for the upcoming UAAP football season (although i wonder how the hell i'm going to get out of work early to watch the game), and glad to be able to take pictures again.
and a preview by rick olivares.
addicted to melancholy
Filed under: angsty pantsing
random thought: maybe some people are really destined to be alone.
so far, i've only watched 67 of the top 250 films.
on the other hand, i've only watched 1 of the bottom 100 films, Baby Geniuses.
and it gets worse when it comes to books. i've only read 31 out of the top 200 novels. and i thought i read more than most people i know.
A LOT more to go.
| Rank | Film |
| 1 | The Godfather (1972) |
| 3 | The Godfather: Part II (1974) |
| 4 | The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) |
| 6 | Casablanca (1942) |
| 7 | Schindler's List (1993) |
| 10 | Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) |
| 11 | Star Wars (1977) |
| 14 | The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) |
| 16 | Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) |
| 18 | Cidade de Deus (2002) |
| 19 | Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) |
| 20 | The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) |
| 22 | Psycho (1960) |
| 26 | Memento (2000) |
| 27 | The Silence of the Lambs (1991) |
| 30 | Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le (2001) |
| 32 | Fight Club (1999) |
| 33 | American Beauty (1999) |
| 34 | The Matrix (1999) |
| 38 | Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) |
| 56 | Alien (1979) |
| 60 | Metropolis (1927) |
| 64 | Saving Private Ryan (1998) |
| 65 | Rashômon (1950) |
| 66 | Singin' in the Rain (1952) |
| 67 | Sin City (2005) |
| 72 | Aliens (1986) |
| 77 | Million Dollar Baby (2004) |
| 82 | Vita è bella, La (1997) |
| 84 | Jaws (1975) |
| 86 | Forrest Gump (1994) |
| 87 | Batman Begins (2005) |
| 91 | The Wizard of Oz (1939) |
| 92 | The Incredibles (2004) |
| 93 | Braveheart (1995) |
| 94 | Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) |
| 99 | Nuovo cinema Paradiso (1989) |
| 107 | Crash (2004/I) |
| 109 | Finding Nemo (2003) |
| 110 | Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) |
| 115 | The Sixth Sense (1999) |
| 118 | Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004) |
| 119 | V for Vendetta (2005) |
| 120 | Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) |
| 123 | Back to the Future (1985) |
| 125 | Yojimbo (1961) |
| 130 | The Green Mile (1999) |
| 138 | Gladiator (2000) |
| 142 | Amores perros (2000) |
| 144 | The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) |
| 145 | Toy Story 2 (1999) |
| 152 | Lola rennt (1998) |
| 168 | Gone with the Wind (1939) |
| 175 | Toy Story (1995) |
| 176 | Cinderella Man (2005) |
| 182 | The Exorcist (1973) |
| 183 | Shrek (2001) |
| 187 | Big Fish (2003) |
| 197 | Walk the Line (2005) |
| 202 | The Terminator (1984) |
| 210 | Hable con ella (2002) |
| 223 | Rosemary's Baby (1968) |
| 224 | Monsters, Inc. (2001) |
| 230 | Roman Holiday (1953) |
| 231 | Scarface (1983) |
| 235 | Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) |
| 249 | The Prestige (2006) |
on the other hand, i've only watched 1 of the bottom 100 films, Baby Geniuses.
and it gets worse when it comes to books. i've only read 31 out of the top 200 novels. and i thought i read more than most people i know.
| 1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien |
| 5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling |
| 7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne |
| 10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë |
| 18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott |
| 22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling |
| 23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling |
| 24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling |
| 30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll |
| 32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel GarcÃa Márquez |
| 36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson |
| 39. Dune, Frank Herbert |
| 46. Animal Farm, George Orwell |
| 47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens |
| 51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett |
| 62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden |
| 70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding |
| 85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy |
| 96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer |
| 100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie |
| 104. Dracula, Bram Stoker |
| 128. The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle |
| 169. The Witches, Roald Dahl |
| 170. Charlotte's Web, E. B. White |
| 175. Sophie's World, Jostein Gaarder |
| 179. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull, Richard Bach |
| 180. The Little Prince, Antoine De Saint-Exupery |
| 182. Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens |
| 188. Goosebumps, R. L. Stine |
| 189. Heidi, Johanna Spyri |
| 191. The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera |
A LOT more to go.
now i cannot speak.. for three days
Filed under: unplanned downtime
..i've lost my voice..
literally.
laryngitis. my doctor's orders:
I. nov 11: day one.
i absolutely hate it. i was practically crying the whole morning. i have to take 4 kinds of medicine, 2 of which i have to drink twice a day, so that's 6. and i have to wear a mask (of course i won't). mababaw? oo. i have always feared going blind, because that's a huge possibility, considering my eyesight. but not being able to speak? i never thought it could actually happen to me. it's really difficult, especially if you're the kind of person who has A LOT to say. for the next seven days, my barney magic slate is my bestfriend.
so fine, i can handle it. but what i really hate about this situation is that i would be staying home for the whole week. i know, most people would jump at this kind of opportunity (my doctor actually scolded me). but then again, i'm not most people. maybe i'm really pressured with work (which is ironic, because i don't really have that much work to do anyway). honestly, i find working in IBM so intimidating and difficult. it's like i can't do anything right. i'm on sick leave again, i haven't really contributed anything of value yet, and now, i'm missing 5 days of possibly finally contributing something. i hate being useless. i am misery embodied.
and then there's aeo. salamat.
II. nov. 12: day two.
according to marty, "the house is 50% quieter without you talking."
i'm guess i'm already used to not being able to speak. it's not as hard as i thought. but then again, i'm just in the house. it's kinda fun, in a weird sort of way-- i actually enjoy writing on my magic slate. plus, people are nicer. hehe.
my voice (or the lack of it) is getting better already. i can now produce some sounds. haha. my dad said that if i get my voice back earlier, i can go to work already. fat chance.
III. nov. 13: day three.
after two days of feeling like Ariel, i can now talk again!!! my voice is still different though, and i cannot talk loudly. but so i guess this means that i'll be able to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE EARLIER (even if it does mean going to work).
and again, there's aeo.
..i'm speechless and redundant
'cause i love you's not enough
i'm lost for words.
literally.
laryngitis. my doctor's orders:
Absolute voice rest at home for seven days. Confine to the home for seven days.
I. nov 11: day one.
i absolutely hate it. i was practically crying the whole morning. i have to take 4 kinds of medicine, 2 of which i have to drink twice a day, so that's 6. and i have to wear a mask (of course i won't). mababaw? oo. i have always feared going blind, because that's a huge possibility, considering my eyesight. but not being able to speak? i never thought it could actually happen to me. it's really difficult, especially if you're the kind of person who has A LOT to say. for the next seven days, my barney magic slate is my bestfriend.
so fine, i can handle it. but what i really hate about this situation is that i would be staying home for the whole week. i know, most people would jump at this kind of opportunity (my doctor actually scolded me). but then again, i'm not most people. maybe i'm really pressured with work (which is ironic, because i don't really have that much work to do anyway). honestly, i find working in IBM so intimidating and difficult. it's like i can't do anything right. i'm on sick leave again, i haven't really contributed anything of value yet, and now, i'm missing 5 days of possibly finally contributing something. i hate being useless. i am misery embodied.
and then there's aeo. salamat.
II. nov. 12: day two.
according to marty, "the house is 50% quieter without you talking."
i'm guess i'm already used to not being able to speak. it's not as hard as i thought. but then again, i'm just in the house. it's kinda fun, in a weird sort of way-- i actually enjoy writing on my magic slate. plus, people are nicer. hehe.
my voice (or the lack of it) is getting better already. i can now produce some sounds. haha. my dad said that if i get my voice back earlier, i can go to work already. fat chance.
III. nov. 13: day three.
after two days of feeling like Ariel, i can now talk again!!! my voice is still different though, and i cannot talk loudly. but so i guess this means that i'll be able to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE EARLIER (even if it does mean going to work).
and again, there's aeo.
..i'm speechless and redundant
'cause i love you's not enough
i'm lost for words.
i just read my blog. my whole blog. funny pathetic sad missing whatever. but absolutely NO REGRETS. it's nice to know that i have gone through those experiences and overcame whatever came my way. nakakapagbigay ng pag-asa sa akin ngayon.
and then i came across this post. super laughtrip! i was taking up HR Management during that time. kadiri. hindi na ako ganon. and it's funny, because i recently "reduced" that to a mere list that basically includes my "non-negotiables and preferred" qualities. i'll probably post it when the time is right :)
----------
i have been recently feeling... different. half the time i'm happy; half the time i'm scared. a different kind of scared. but it's not like i want to get out of it-- it's like i'm being pulled into a whirlpool and there's no way i can resist it. then again, i can't resist it because in the first place, i don't want to resist it. it's nice and it's not nice. most of the time i'm palpitating and i often feel like throwing up.
this is how i felt in one of my dreams. i was flying. i loved it, but when i wanted to get down, i just bounced and went up even higher. it was fun and scary. i remember waking up with my heart beating so fast.
i think it's close to the feeling i got after riding the Enchanted Kingdom's Space Shuttle for the first time.
ngayon lang talaga ito. nakakainis. i just want to get this over with.
(but then again, part of me doesn't.)
and then i came across this post. super laughtrip! i was taking up HR Management during that time. kadiri. hindi na ako ganon. and it's funny, because i recently "reduced" that to a mere list that basically includes my "non-negotiables and preferred" qualities. i'll probably post it when the time is right :)
----------
i have been recently feeling... different. half the time i'm happy; half the time i'm scared. a different kind of scared. but it's not like i want to get out of it-- it's like i'm being pulled into a whirlpool and there's no way i can resist it. then again, i can't resist it because in the first place, i don't want to resist it. it's nice and it's not nice. most of the time i'm palpitating and i often feel like throwing up.
this is how i felt in one of my dreams. i was flying. i loved it, but when i wanted to get down, i just bounced and went up even higher. it was fun and scary. i remember waking up with my heart beating so fast.
i think it's close to the feeling i got after riding the Enchanted Kingdom's Space Shuttle for the first time.
ngayon lang talaga ito. nakakainis. i just want to get this over with.
(but then again, part of me doesn't.)
by request
Filed under: boredom rules
1. What does your name mean?
-- source. Lisa means "consecrated to God" in Hebrew. Marie, on the other hand, means "bitter sea" in French. so i guess i'm consecrated to God in the bitter sea. or something like that.
2. What's your current problem?
-- hmm. i guess it's getting through work everyday.
3. What's your middle name?
-- Lovete.
4. What is your current relationship status?
-- single
5.Honestly, does your crush like you back?
-- i don't want to assume, so i would say no. haha.
6. What is your current mood?
-- bored and missing someone.
7. What do you love most?
-- difficult question.
8. What makes you happy?
-- a lot of things. being with friends good food especially kare-kare chocolate pasta pizza watching films books art and making art sunrise raindrops on car windows being with the person i like doing something i love dreams music nice things making someone happy
9. Are you musically inclined?
-- musically inclined as in i can play an instrument? i wish.
10. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be and why?
-- nothing. i'm too lazy to do that.
11. If you had to be an animal for one day, what would you be?
-- a tiger.
12. Ever have a near death experience?
-- unfortunately, no.
13. Name something you do a lot?
-- breathing.
14. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
-- more today than yesterday by goldfinger.
-- source. Lisa means "consecrated to God" in Hebrew. Marie, on the other hand, means "bitter sea" in French. so i guess i'm consecrated to God in the bitter sea. or something like that.
2. What's your current problem?
-- hmm. i guess it's getting through work everyday.
3. What's your middle name?
-- Lovete.
4. What is your current relationship status?
-- single
5.Honestly, does your crush like you back?
-- i don't want to assume, so i would say no. haha.
6. What is your current mood?
-- bored and missing someone.
7. What do you love most?
-- difficult question.
8. What makes you happy?
-- a lot of things. being with friends good food especially kare-kare chocolate pasta pizza watching films books art and making art sunrise raindrops on car windows being with the person i like doing something i love dreams music nice things making someone happy
9. Are you musically inclined?
-- musically inclined as in i can play an instrument? i wish.
10. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be and why?
-- nothing. i'm too lazy to do that.
11. If you had to be an animal for one day, what would you be?
-- a tiger.
12. Ever have a near death experience?
-- unfortunately, no.
13. Name something you do a lot?
-- breathing.
14. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
-- more today than yesterday by goldfinger.
15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
-- mary.
16. Name someone with the same b-day as you.
-- arianne.
18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
-- yep.
20. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
-- depends whether i'm looking at him or not. either it's their physical appearance or voice.
25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
-- yep.
26. Do you have braces?
-- nope.
27. Are you comfortable with your weight?
-- if i lost a few more pounds, then i would be.
28. Do you speak any other languages?
-- aside from english? filipino. i supposedly know spanish, but then again, i forget these things.
29. What's your favorite smell?
-- let me get back to this later.
30. who do you think will re-post this?
-- people bored with work. like i am. haha.
art attack
Filed under: artsy fartsying
let them eat. period.
Filed under: lights camera popcorn
there is something about the way sofia coppola directs that makes the film so.. endearing. sofia copolla is not your usual director. it's either you love her or you hate her, and it takes a while for a person to truly appreciate her work. she has this unique eye that makes every single shot of the camera an art piece. a moving art photo-- that's how i would describe the film. you can take any still shot of the movie, and it would come out as a very artsy picture. the first thing i noticed about the movie is that it does not make use of typical camera angles, camera movement and scene transitions; there were a lot of awkward angles, shaky movement and sudden cuts, but they all work. another unusual thing about the film is the musical score. the setting is in the past, yet the music is modern.another thing i like about sofia coppola is that she doesn't have to show some body to make you understand what the scene is about or express the emotion of the situation: a hand or the setting is enough. this, i think, is a distict feature in her other films, such as Lost In Translation and The Virgin Suicides. another sofia trademark, in my opinion, is the minimal script. eye contact replaces dialoque, and it actually works better. which is an advantage, considering the lead character is portrayed by kirsten dunst (haha!).
honestly, i don't know much about Marie Antoinette. before i watched this film, all i knew was that she was the extravagant queen of France who said, "Let them eat cake," and got beheaded. and what i liked about the movie is that these "facts" were not highlighted. for me it doesn't really matter whether this film is historically correct or not. what's important is you really get to see the other side of the story-- the story of a young girl plunged into Versaille.
covers galore!
Filed under: soundtripping
because i'm bored. a list of good covers at the top of my head:
- scissor sisters - take me out (franz ferdinand) *current fave*
- starsailor - push the button (pussycat dolls)
- the ataris - the boys of summer (the eagles/don henley)
- eva cassidy - time after time (cyndi lauper)
- fiona apple - across the universe (the beatles)
- lost prophets - cry me a river (justin timberlake)
- pearl jam - lightning crashes (live)
- alice in chains - another brick in the wall (pink floyd)
- howie day - #41 (dave matthews band)
- norah jones - crazy (patsy cline)
- violent femmes - i wanna be sedated (the ramones)
- 311 - love song (the cure)
- a perfect circle - love song (the cure)
- suzie mcneil - bohemian rhapsody (queen)
- brandon boyd - alison (elvis costello)
- incubus - like a virgin (madonna)
(i know i've said this a lot of times before: i suck at titles.)probably the worst film i've seen this year (which is quite funny, because i absolutely loved the movie i watched previously). the plot's slow, the editing is really bad, and the acting sucks. buti na lang hindi ako ang nagbayad. hehe. the only nice thing about this movie is edison chen (dahil ang gwapo niya). but then again, he doesn't have that much screentime.
i liked 3 scenes though:
- sarah michelle gellar falling from the hospital roof to her death in front of amber tamblyn (yes, it's joan of arcadia) and edison chen
- teresa palmer grabbing the feet of the kid instead of her phone
- old man doing "peek-a-boo" in the bus
----------
on another note, regina spektor keeps playing in my head.
"Fidelity"
I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall
All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better
I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting by heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
Breaks my
Heart
Breaks my heart
are you watching closely?
Filed under: lights camera popcorn
"Every great magic trick consists of three acts. The first act is called "The Pledge"; The magician shows you something ordinary, but of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn"; The magician makes his ordinary some thing do something extraordinary. Now if you're looking for the secret... you won't find it, that's why there's a third act called, "The Prestige"; this is the part with the twists and turns, where lives hang in the balance, and you see something shocking you've never seen before."- Cutter, The Prestige
this film is fucking great. it's rare that a film leaves me at awe-- and this is such an instance. it's the kind that makes you second guess yourself all throughout the film and you don't know which character you're going to side with. christopher priest is brilliant. and the cinematography is excellent, of course. there are very few effects, but everything else, especially the acting, contributes into raising this film above most films i've seen this year. not to mention the probability that this film will mark the peak of a lot of people's careers: christopher nolan, hugh jackman, christian bale and scarlett johansson. everybody should absolutely watch this film.
and i absolutely did not recognize david bowie.
----------
someday. masasama din ako jan.
"Things need not have happened to be true. Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot."
i love to dream. one of the reasons i like sleep is because i want to know what dream i'll remember when i wake up. and that is also why i absolutely love Neil Gaiman's Sandman. when i remember a dream, i make it a point to tell somebody, or else i will forget. why? because i believe we dream for a reason. what's the reason? i don't know. a view of our subconscious? prophesy? we can't tell for sure. but they are certainly entertaining, whether they are "sweet dreams" or nightmares.
it has been a while since i last remembered a dream, and it has been a while since i dreamt of something that i considered "significant." people have been telling me to write them down.. this is the first time.
i was wearing a white dress. and i was with somebody. it was a guy. we were walking on the beach... such soft, fine white sand. there were trees in the distance. i looked in between branches, as i usually do, to catch the sun's rays. it was peaceful.
when i looked at what was ahead of us, i saw a wooden structure, painted white, in the middle of the beach. i don't know what it's called, but it was huge, with four posts, no walls, and the roof was slitted-- not exactly a roof at all. there was a man under that structure. he seemed kind and fatherly. apparently, he was quite happy to see me. the guy i was with earlier was gone.
and there were birds. a lot of birds. birds which seemed like a cross between a stork and an eagle, but the sounded like crows. and they were above us, perched on the slits.
without saying anything, the man took out a piece of paper from his pocket: money. when he stretched out his hand, a bird swooped down and got the bill with its beak. for some reason, i was amused by this, and did the same. after a while, i looked up and saw that most of the birds were holding pieces of paper. i was tired of stretching my arm, and so what i did was grab a handful of bills and through them in the air. we were surrounded by sand, birds, and money.
and time seemed to slow down. for some seconds, everything was in slow motion as money floated and birds flew around me.
when time finally "normalized," i realized that i was alone. i looked around, and there was house near the trees.
the house, like everything else that surrounded me, was immaculately white. the only splash of color was the gate which was fire-engine red. i entered the gate, and the man who i was with earlier, came out from the side of the house. i was relieved to know that i was not alone and he has not left me.
and i thought, "There you are."
"'And then she woke up.' I suppose there are worse endings."
-- Dream, in SANDMAN #19: A Midsummer Night's Dream
i love to dream. one of the reasons i like sleep is because i want to know what dream i'll remember when i wake up. and that is also why i absolutely love Neil Gaiman's Sandman. when i remember a dream, i make it a point to tell somebody, or else i will forget. why? because i believe we dream for a reason. what's the reason? i don't know. a view of our subconscious? prophesy? we can't tell for sure. but they are certainly entertaining, whether they are "sweet dreams" or nightmares.
it has been a while since i last remembered a dream, and it has been a while since i dreamt of something that i considered "significant." people have been telling me to write them down.. this is the first time.
i was wearing a white dress. and i was with somebody. it was a guy. we were walking on the beach... such soft, fine white sand. there were trees in the distance. i looked in between branches, as i usually do, to catch the sun's rays. it was peaceful.
when i looked at what was ahead of us, i saw a wooden structure, painted white, in the middle of the beach. i don't know what it's called, but it was huge, with four posts, no walls, and the roof was slitted-- not exactly a roof at all. there was a man under that structure. he seemed kind and fatherly. apparently, he was quite happy to see me. the guy i was with earlier was gone.
and there were birds. a lot of birds. birds which seemed like a cross between a stork and an eagle, but the sounded like crows. and they were above us, perched on the slits.
without saying anything, the man took out a piece of paper from his pocket: money. when he stretched out his hand, a bird swooped down and got the bill with its beak. for some reason, i was amused by this, and did the same. after a while, i looked up and saw that most of the birds were holding pieces of paper. i was tired of stretching my arm, and so what i did was grab a handful of bills and through them in the air. we were surrounded by sand, birds, and money.
and time seemed to slow down. for some seconds, everything was in slow motion as money floated and birds flew around me.
when time finally "normalized," i realized that i was alone. i looked around, and there was house near the trees.
the house, like everything else that surrounded me, was immaculately white. the only splash of color was the gate which was fire-engine red. i entered the gate, and the man who i was with earlier, came out from the side of the house. i was relieved to know that i was not alone and he has not left me.
and i thought, "There you are."
"'And then she woke up.' I suppose there are worse endings."
--From Rose Walker's diary, in SANDMAN #16: Lost Hearts
before i forget, here's an article by my former high school teacher, mr. allan rono.
somebody asked me why i'm so into UAAP basketball and why i went to the Gesu eventhough we lost... i could've answered him with that article.
somebody asked me why i'm so into UAAP basketball and why i went to the Gesu eventhough we lost... i could've answered him with that article.
pota.
Filed under: my so-called lovelife
last week: aba, nabuhay. para sabihing may bagong girlfriend na siya.
today: aba, nabuhay. para sabihing engaged na siya.
at magkaibang lalaki yan ah. wahahaha. winner talaga.
pota.
it hurts to hear that he has moved on to another relationship. it hurts to hear how much he loves the girl. it hurts to hear how much the girl loves him. it hurts to hear that he is willing to overcome obstacles just to be with her. it hurts to hear that they have met each other's families and that they actually get along. it hurts to hear that he is willing to go all the way to paranaque. it hurts to hear that he listens to what she tells him. it hurts to hear that he does not get mad at her. it hurts to hear that he goes down on his knees to apologize to her. it hurts to hear that this girl is the one to finally changed him. it hurts to hear that the girl is everything i'm not. it hurts to hear that he has found a better girl.
thank you for making me feel like shit, for making me feel that i was never worth it. grabe, salamat talaga.
i feel sad, regretful, jealous, angry and unappreciated.
and yet, i also feel happy (and relieved).
i am happy that he finally found the right girl. I am happy that he is in a good relationship. i am happy that he has become a better person because of her. i am happy that everything in his life is finally falling into place.
i just wish things in my life also fall into place soon.
pero pota. kina-karma ata ako.
but i am okay. seriously. i just hope he stops:
today: aba, nabuhay. para sabihing engaged na siya.
at magkaibang lalaki yan ah. wahahaha. winner talaga.
pota.
it hurts to hear that he has moved on to another relationship. it hurts to hear how much he loves the girl. it hurts to hear how much the girl loves him. it hurts to hear that he is willing to overcome obstacles just to be with her. it hurts to hear that they have met each other's families and that they actually get along. it hurts to hear that he is willing to go all the way to paranaque. it hurts to hear that he listens to what she tells him. it hurts to hear that he does not get mad at her. it hurts to hear that he goes down on his knees to apologize to her. it hurts to hear that this girl is the one to finally changed him. it hurts to hear that the girl is everything i'm not. it hurts to hear that he has found a better girl.
thank you for making me feel like shit, for making me feel that i was never worth it. grabe, salamat talaga.
i feel sad, regretful, jealous, angry and unappreciated.
and yet, i also feel happy (and relieved).
i am happy that he finally found the right girl. I am happy that he is in a good relationship. i am happy that he has become a better person because of her. i am happy that everything in his life is finally falling into place.
i just wish things in my life also fall into place soon.
pero pota. kina-karma ata ako.
but i am okay. seriously. i just hope he stops:
- comparing our relationship to theirs. fine, i know this relationship (and girl) is better, but dammit, stop rubbing it in my face.
- letting me know that he's comparing, at the least.
- calling me just to say how much he misses her. ok, you miss her, i get it. but do not follow it up with...
- flirting. where and when in this universe is flirting with your ex appropriate?!
keeping the faith
Filed under: ateneo blue eagles
after overtime, the score was 76-74. the ateneo blue eagles lost the championship to the UST growling tigers.
despite all the [emotional] stress yesterday, i don't feel as bad as i expected. after the game, we went straight to the church of the gesu-- like we always do :) and somehow, being with the ateneo community and listening to fr. ben makes it all better. somehow, the atmosphere was transformed from disappointment to thanksgiving. by the time the mass ended, it was as if the fact of the loss was put aside, and everyone was congratulating the players for a wonderful job this season and wishing them luck for the next.
the team and coach norman black apoligized for the loss. but honestly, i think that for us true blue fans, it doesn't matter, because we know how hard they've worked throughout the season and how much everyone's performance has improved. i hate it when i hear others putting the blame on the players, and not just this season. in this case, some are blaming JC intal, who missed crucial layups in the last minutes of the game, and ford arao, for his performance (or lack thereof). i think it's really sad that some people do not realize how much effort these people have given throughout the season. nobody is perfect. players cannot be at their best all the time. to all blamers: can you do better then them? probably not.
i understand sir rono when he said that it's just a game; sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. it all boils down on how you played the game. yes, we were all sad and disappointed, but this year's team showed heart we haven't seen after the championship in 2002. they all did their very best, especially captains JC intal (intal inside), doug kramer (who let the doug out?) and macky escalona (i *heart* macky). it's also great to see other players step up, like chris tiu (it's tiu-sday) and zion laterre (laterre-minator). and with this, i really can't be bitter about the loss. it was a good fight. and more than that, this team, this band of brothers, made me fall in love with UAAP basketball all over again. ONE BIG FIGHT!
i just love this pic. sino ang mukhang fan? hehehe. and i quote coach, "JC, in my heart, you're the MVP." naks. more pics and videos in my multiply account.
and a nice read to end the season: Final Blue Eagles Bulletin: The Season That Was
despite all the [emotional] stress yesterday, i don't feel as bad as i expected. after the game, we went straight to the church of the gesu-- like we always do :) and somehow, being with the ateneo community and listening to fr. ben makes it all better. somehow, the atmosphere was transformed from disappointment to thanksgiving. by the time the mass ended, it was as if the fact of the loss was put aside, and everyone was congratulating the players for a wonderful job this season and wishing them luck for the next.
the team and coach norman black apoligized for the loss. but honestly, i think that for us true blue fans, it doesn't matter, because we know how hard they've worked throughout the season and how much everyone's performance has improved. i hate it when i hear others putting the blame on the players, and not just this season. in this case, some are blaming JC intal, who missed crucial layups in the last minutes of the game, and ford arao, for his performance (or lack thereof). i think it's really sad that some people do not realize how much effort these people have given throughout the season. nobody is perfect. players cannot be at their best all the time. to all blamers: can you do better then them? probably not.
i understand sir rono when he said that it's just a game; sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. it all boils down on how you played the game. yes, we were all sad and disappointed, but this year's team showed heart we haven't seen after the championship in 2002. they all did their very best, especially captains JC intal (intal inside), doug kramer (who let the doug out?) and macky escalona (i *heart* macky). it's also great to see other players step up, like chris tiu (it's tiu-sday) and zion laterre (laterre-minator). and with this, i really can't be bitter about the loss. it was a good fight. and more than that, this team, this band of brothers, made me fall in love with UAAP basketball all over again. ONE BIG FIGHT!
sabi ni JC, "keep the faith."
i just love this pic. sino ang mukhang fan? hehehe. and i quote coach, "JC, in my heart, you're the MVP." naks. more pics and videos in my multiply account.and a nice read to end the season: Final Blue Eagles Bulletin: The Season That Was
