it's about time that i take matters into my own hands.. and i feel a whole lot better.
- take up a class. primarily, i want to take up a class in photography-- a step i have to take if i really want to pursue my dream job. PCCI offers a wide range of courses. i also recently found out that ateneo has a diploma course on photojournalism. unfortunately, i can't find a class that fits my schedule. and so i thought that i'd better learn something else in the meantime: another language. i have always wanted to learn french or italian because i love art and dream of visiting europe. now i just have to make up my mind which of the two i should take up. more people speak french so i should find it more useful. consequently, italian's unique and astig, but more expensive. any views?
- buy a laptop. since my mom volunteered robin, my old laptop (yes, i name my gadgets) WITHOUT my permission, i just have to get a new one to store all my junk. i've decided to buy a macbook.
it's just so... gwapo :) the mac stores jack up the prices like crazy. anyone know where i can get it for a reasonable price? - finally do THAT thing i've been thinking of doing for months. i don't think i need to explain this-- for now. i'll post something about this definitely some time within the week.
- play and pray. apparently, boys can be really stupid now matter what age they are. and i'm sure they also say this about women: can't live with them, can't live without them. right now, i really don't want to get attached to anyone. i'm not expecting to be in a relationship again anytime soon, but i am constantly wishing for my own Greatest Guy (again).
reading frenzy
Filed under: bookworming
bought two books last friday, and now i'm back to zero.
book one: Coraline by Neil Gaiman
neil gaiman never ceases to amaze me. this is the third book of his that i've read, after the Sandman series (actually 11 books, including Endless Nights, but since it's one story i'm counting it only as one) and Stardust, and so far, mr. gaiman has not disappointed me yet. Coraline is a children's book, which is strange because its theme is not for for kids at all. i read C.S. Lewis' Alice in Wonderland back in grade school, and i remember getting chills up my spine. i felt the same way while reading Coraline. kids read these stories and think of adventure; adults (eww i can't believe i'm technically classified as an adult already) read these stories and think of the story behind the story, the parodies of life, and basically how screwed up the human mind really is. Coraline may be a book for children, but it's a story that everyone, the young and the young at heart, can appreciate and relate to.
book two: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
i have been interested in Sylvia Plath ever since we read one of her poems in high school, and our teacher said that she killed herself by putting her head in an oven, or something like that. i rented a VCD of the film Sylvia starring Gwyneth Paltrow when i was in college, during my emo days, and i became even more fascinated with her.
The Bell Jar is semi-autobiographical, and reading it gave me a better understanding of how she was. it's as if i see myself (or part of me) in the character of Esther Greenwood. it was her attempts at suicide that struck me most when i was reading the book. back when i was depressed, i actually experienced two of her attempts/failures. there was also a point in my life that i was diagnosing myself: i found that i was either manic-depressive or schizophrenic (this is worthy of its own post, but i shall leave that for another time). and what a coincidence, it also turns out that Esther is about the same age as i am. apparently, we share the same issues: boys, sex, career, family, feminism and death.
but i did not find the book depressing at all. on the contrary, i found it quite enlightening. all this time i thought of myself as screwed up, that i had nobody to relate to, that nobody understands what i am going through (yes, emo mode switched on) but when i read this book, i realized: how can i be screwed up if i find myself relating to such a brilliant woman? for some reason, even if the person i am relating to is dead, i actually feel... free. finally, some confirmation that i am not the only person in this world who feels this way. i'm not crazy after all. Sylvia Plath has a certain way of writing that makes you realize and accept your thoughts and feelings. she writes with such honesty that you do not feel ashamed of yourself. she was able to express what i could not.. and the chaos in my mind actually made sense. her book actually spoke for me.
i am drawn to this book because i know what it feels to be in the bell jar. i also know how it feels to have it slightly lifted.
book one: Coraline by Neil Gaiman
neil gaiman never ceases to amaze me. this is the third book of his that i've read, after the Sandman series (actually 11 books, including Endless Nights, but since it's one story i'm counting it only as one) and Stardust, and so far, mr. gaiman has not disappointed me yet. Coraline is a children's book, which is strange because its theme is not for for kids at all. i read C.S. Lewis' Alice in Wonderland back in grade school, and i remember getting chills up my spine. i felt the same way while reading Coraline. kids read these stories and think of adventure; adults (eww i can't believe i'm technically classified as an adult already) read these stories and think of the story behind the story, the parodies of life, and basically how screwed up the human mind really is. Coraline may be a book for children, but it's a story that everyone, the young and the young at heart, can appreciate and relate to.book two: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
i have been interested in Sylvia Plath ever since we read one of her poems in high school, and our teacher said that she killed herself by putting her head in an oven, or something like that. i rented a VCD of the film Sylvia starring Gwyneth Paltrow when i was in college, during my emo days, and i became even more fascinated with her.The Bell Jar is semi-autobiographical, and reading it gave me a better understanding of how she was. it's as if i see myself (or part of me) in the character of Esther Greenwood. it was her attempts at suicide that struck me most when i was reading the book. back when i was depressed, i actually experienced two of her attempts/failures. there was also a point in my life that i was diagnosing myself: i found that i was either manic-depressive or schizophrenic (this is worthy of its own post, but i shall leave that for another time). and what a coincidence, it also turns out that Esther is about the same age as i am. apparently, we share the same issues: boys, sex, career, family, feminism and death.
but i did not find the book depressing at all. on the contrary, i found it quite enlightening. all this time i thought of myself as screwed up, that i had nobody to relate to, that nobody understands what i am going through (yes, emo mode switched on) but when i read this book, i realized: how can i be screwed up if i find myself relating to such a brilliant woman? for some reason, even if the person i am relating to is dead, i actually feel... free. finally, some confirmation that i am not the only person in this world who feels this way. i'm not crazy after all. Sylvia Plath has a certain way of writing that makes you realize and accept your thoughts and feelings. she writes with such honesty that you do not feel ashamed of yourself. she was able to express what i could not.. and the chaos in my mind actually made sense. her book actually spoke for me.
i am drawn to this book because i know what it feels to be in the bell jar. i also know how it feels to have it slightly lifted.
reason #2394
reason #3219
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Ciara - Like A Boy
stupid boy 1: taena...may mga orders sakin na bowling bag...eto ang catch, dumating na yung supplier dito sa manila...la ako 3,5k!!!lose customers? how about losing your wife?! dumbass.
stupid boy 1: please?il leave my wedding ring with you para colateral
me: are you serious na iiwan mo ang wedding ring mo??? di kita pauutangin dahil lang jan no
stupid boy 1: oo! seryoso ako! im going to lose customers ehh...
reason #3219
stupid boy 2: tpos pag nabuntis kaclassic. asshole.
stupid boy 2: wag mo ko habulin a
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Ciara - Like A Boy
elections today.
i give a piece of paper with my name and precinct number on it.
poll person: wala ka dito ah.
me: talaga? llanto. L-L-A-N-T-O.
poll person: aaahhhh.. (but does not flip the page) hmm, wala talaga eh.
me: L-L-A-N-T-O.
poll watcher: L-L daw.
poll person: ahhhhh.. L-L pala eh. (finally flips the pages) ayun. "Lisa Marie."
hay. and for some reason, there are thrice as many poll watchers than there are people actually manning tables-supposedly-turned-into-precincts. we are a poor, poor country.
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mothers' day yesterday. the single mom thing seems to be becoming more and more attractive.
i give a piece of paper with my name and precinct number on it.
poll person: wala ka dito ah.
me: talaga? llanto. L-L-A-N-T-O.
poll person: aaahhhh.. (but does not flip the page) hmm, wala talaga eh.
me: L-L-A-N-T-O.
poll watcher: L-L daw.
poll person: ahhhhh.. L-L pala eh. (finally flips the pages) ayun. "Lisa Marie."
hay. and for some reason, there are thrice as many poll watchers than there are people actually manning tables-supposedly-turned-into-precincts. we are a poor, poor country.
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mothers' day yesterday. the single mom thing seems to be becoming more and more attractive.
Spiderman 3
Filed under: lights camera popcorn
watched Spiderman 3 last night with IBMers. heh.i recommend seeing this movie on the big screen, if only for the special effects. the first time the Sandman appeared, i was instantly reminded of this piece of artwork by one of my favorite artists. absolutely great effects, and basically, that's the only good thing i can say about this movie.
i knew the movie was going to suck, but i watched it anyway mainly because i already watched the previous 2 (and how could i resist a free movie?). i liked the first one-- that i'd watch again. the second was blah, but somewhat forgiveable because sequels almost always suck (except for the second installment of Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers). i thought, what the heck, it can't get any worse. apparently, it could. the next thing i knew i was sitting in Eastwood Cinema 4 seeing:
- peter (*snickers*) parker crying. a lot.
- kirsten dunst lip synch supposedly on Broadway
- tobey maguire dancing. or trying to.
- topher grace actually playing a role other than eric foreman. and he had to play a freak.
- peter parker being an asshole
- the american flag as the backdrop of spiderman
- the death of harry osborn. and to think i got through the whole thing only because james franco is soooo darn cute.
- the death of harry osborn with spiderman and mary jane beside him amidst a sunset background
and yes, talks of a fourth movie are ongoing. yikes.
lesson learned (again): beware of hype. haha.
I’m the type of girl that’ll look you dead in the eye, eye
I’m real as it comes if you don’t know why I’m fly
- Give It To Me, Nelly Furtado feat. Timberland and Justin Timberlake
i've been on sick leave for the past three workdays due to urinary tract infection. sounds gross, i know, not to mention
hehe. i bet you already saw that coming. but yeah, i haven't felt this bad (of course this is inclusive of being sick, stressed, etc.) since.. well i haven't felt like this my whole life. i think dengue and pneumonia are illnesses that basically cannot be avoided, especially if you're a kid. those are attributed to external factors, such as mosquitoes, pollution, etc. but gastritis and dehydration are another thing. those are illnesses that i could (and should) avoid and control, since they are attributed to eating patterns, urinating, etc. throughout the 10 years, i have always considered myself as one of the "healthy people." sure, i contract the occasional colds and rare fevers, but that's it. i never had any problems eating, peeing, drinking, or whatever -ing's there may be. it's just recently (although i don't think i can still call it "recent") when i've started working, that i have been in such condition. it was actually a lot more hectic in college than it is now that i'm working, but i was never (or rarely) stressed or sick.
ugh. i hate the working world. but working is inevitable, so i'll just blame the environment. haha.
it's really different when you like what you're doing. i don't want to be such a priss about it, but i'd hate it more if i don't resolve the what if's of my life. after all, life is indeed to short to be miserable.
(and sometimes it's good to know that you're not the only person in the working world who feels crappy about their job. there is strength in numbers! haha!)
on this note, more news: i've decided NOT to accept the job in scribble works. the job's really what i want (accounts executive), but the compensation blows. i can work with the salary, but i can only actually benefit from the benefits after 5 months. i can't wait that long, especially now that i'm not well and realizing the importance of reimbursement. i'm not that bummed about it anyway.
speaking of jobs, i'm so happy for newly-hired-soon-to-be-turning-japanese aeo! i knew he could do it. after all, he is results-oriented. hehe. i am going to miss him though.
F U C K I N G P A I N F U L.
this is probably the worst "illness" i've felt-- dengue (age 6), pneumonia (age 10), gastritis (age 20) and dehydration (age 20) do not even compare. and given the timeline, i haven't been really sick for 10 years of my life. so... i have come to this conclusion: my work environment does not suit me well.hehe. i bet you already saw that coming. but yeah, i haven't felt this bad (of course this is inclusive of being sick, stressed, etc.) since.. well i haven't felt like this my whole life. i think dengue and pneumonia are illnesses that basically cannot be avoided, especially if you're a kid. those are attributed to external factors, such as mosquitoes, pollution, etc. but gastritis and dehydration are another thing. those are illnesses that i could (and should) avoid and control, since they are attributed to eating patterns, urinating, etc. throughout the 10 years, i have always considered myself as one of the "healthy people." sure, i contract the occasional colds and rare fevers, but that's it. i never had any problems eating, peeing, drinking, or whatever -ing's there may be. it's just recently (although i don't think i can still call it "recent") when i've started working, that i have been in such condition. it was actually a lot more hectic in college than it is now that i'm working, but i was never (or rarely) stressed or sick.
ugh. i hate the working world. but working is inevitable, so i'll just blame the environment. haha.
it's really different when you like what you're doing. i don't want to be such a priss about it, but i'd hate it more if i don't resolve the what if's of my life. after all, life is indeed to short to be miserable.
(and sometimes it's good to know that you're not the only person in the working world who feels crappy about their job. there is strength in numbers! haha!)
on this note, more news: i've decided NOT to accept the job in scribble works. the job's really what i want (accounts executive), but the compensation blows. i can work with the salary, but i can only actually benefit from the benefits after 5 months. i can't wait that long, especially now that i'm not well and realizing the importance of reimbursement. i'm not that bummed about it anyway.
speaking of jobs, i'm so happy for newly-hired-soon-to-be-turning-japanese aeo! i knew he could do it. after all, he is results-oriented. hehe. i am going to miss him though.
