apparently i am affected. passive, dumb, insensitive, selfish girl living in fiction whose self-centeredness exudes in everything she says and does. i have been trying not to think about it, trying to convince myself otherwise, trying hard not to be affected by his words, trying not to look affected, trying not to sound affected, trying not to act affected. i'm not perfect in any way, but am i really THAT bad?

i guess there's some truth to what he says. after all, i am still alone. people that i have loved are nowhere to be found. i feel like a plague, ruining people's lives i come into contact with. but oh well, i guess some people do not deserve to be loved. i guess some people are just meant to be alone.

mom and dad, don't expect grandchildren from me. haha.

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"Still Alone" by Straylight Run (definitely in the soundtrack of my life. i looooove this band!!!!)

Doing like you said, taking deep breaths
Keeping my cool, counting to ten.
On my own again, trying to keep my head clear
Go for walks away from here
But I know, I am

I'm still alone, still alone
Like the day I was born,
Born and brought into this world.
Still alone, still alone
Like the day I was born,
Born and brought into this world.

Hold on to your friends, that's what he said.
I guess that his friends are not like mine.
I could write a list of people I don't miss.
I'm sorry, but I'm so much better off without you.

I'm still alone, still alone
Like the day I was born,
Born and brought into this world.
Still alone, still alone
Like the day I was born,
Born and brought into this world.

Hold it all against me, still don't bother.
Hold it all against me, still another complaint.
High maintenance complaint, oh shutup.
Ba da dee da da da da, ba ba da
Ba da dee da da da da, ba ba da da da
Ba ba da da da
Oh, shutup.

Still alone, still alone
Like the day I was born,
Born and brought into this world.
Still alone, still alone
Like the day I was born,
Born and brought into this world.
Still alone, still alone
Like the day I was born,
Born and brought
Into this world.