galing kay ginoong gaiman:
Rules and responsibilities: these are the ties that bind us.
We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
I will do what I have to do.
And I will do what I must.
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now let me warn you, this is a pathetic post. read it, if you really want to. but if not, better skip this, because it's not going to be nice.
maybe it's because of everything that has happened the past few weeks (things that i do not want to elaborate on anymore), but i just want to say that i really miss being in a relationship-- and not just the making out part. i miss taking care of someone. i miss the companionship. i miss knowing that there's someone to back you up no matter what. i miss thinking of the welfare of another person. i miss being unselfish.
which is really ironic, because i am a very selfish person.
which is also maybe why i need to be in a relationship again. i need to learn to not be selfish. and what's better than experience, right?
man, i'm getting needier and needier. i need to work. i need a job that i like. i need to get out of the house. i need my art. i need a smoke. i need a drink. and now i need a boyfriend?! this is probably the neediest i have been in my entire after-high-school life.
but i don't want needing things, or people for that matter. i don't want a crutch.
someone asked me before why i agreed to be in a relationship that i knew was doomed to failure. my answer: hormones and necessity. i wanted to know what it's like to have a boyfriend (i.e., my body clock was ticking) and i needed a diversion. but then again, that was wrong from the beginning.
and despite everything, i really, truly cared for him. too bad it wasn't enough. but things happen for a reason.
yeah.
things happen for a reason.
----------
to someone i really care about (you know who you are. i was told you read my blog. :p),
i know you did not mean for any of this to happen, but here we are. here we all are. nangyari na.. wala na tayong magagawa para ibahin ang sitwasyon. so i guess we just have to make the most of everything, right? and no matter what happens, i'll always be there for you. i wasn't there before-- and i regret that. but i am now, and i want to be there from now on (hanggang amagin na tayo. :p). i know saying this does not change anything, but i just want you to know that whatever shit you may be in, eventhough i can't pull you out, susubukin kong pabanguhin. haha. but seriously, you know what i mean. so take care, ok? because you're not the only one that's going to be affected/changed when this whole thing, this hurricane, blows over. oks? oks.
Rules and responsibilities: these are the ties that bind us.
We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
I will do what I have to do.
And I will do what I must.
----------
now let me warn you, this is a pathetic post. read it, if you really want to. but if not, better skip this, because it's not going to be nice.
maybe it's because of everything that has happened the past few weeks (things that i do not want to elaborate on anymore), but i just want to say that i really miss being in a relationship-- and not just the making out part. i miss taking care of someone. i miss the companionship. i miss knowing that there's someone to back you up no matter what. i miss thinking of the welfare of another person. i miss being unselfish.
which is really ironic, because i am a very selfish person.
which is also maybe why i need to be in a relationship again. i need to learn to not be selfish. and what's better than experience, right?
man, i'm getting needier and needier. i need to work. i need a job that i like. i need to get out of the house. i need my art. i need a smoke. i need a drink. and now i need a boyfriend?! this is probably the neediest i have been in my entire after-high-school life.
but i don't want needing things, or people for that matter. i don't want a crutch.
someone asked me before why i agreed to be in a relationship that i knew was doomed to failure. my answer: hormones and necessity. i wanted to know what it's like to have a boyfriend (i.e., my body clock was ticking) and i needed a diversion. but then again, that was wrong from the beginning.
and despite everything, i really, truly cared for him. too bad it wasn't enough. but things happen for a reason.
yeah.
things happen for a reason.
----------
to someone i really care about (you know who you are. i was told you read my blog. :p),
i know you did not mean for any of this to happen, but here we are. here we all are. nangyari na.. wala na tayong magagawa para ibahin ang sitwasyon. so i guess we just have to make the most of everything, right? and no matter what happens, i'll always be there for you. i wasn't there before-- and i regret that. but i am now, and i want to be there from now on (hanggang amagin na tayo. :p). i know saying this does not change anything, but i just want you to know that whatever shit you may be in, eventhough i can't pull you out, susubukin kong pabanguhin. haha. but seriously, you know what i mean. so take care, ok? because you're not the only one that's going to be affected/changed when this whole thing, this hurricane, blows over. oks? oks.
Anonymous
12:29 AM
And how true that is.
How true (also) is it to say that there are just moments when we NEED- someone, something...a feeling, a kiss, a memory, a hug. Sometimes, it also gets overwhelming and annoying because you think you have forgotten and then you remember again. Right now, I also need so many things. Like a job I like, and, uh- I don't really need to say right? You know about it. :( I'm kind of feeling lonely. Wish you were here. In Katipunan. Nearer.
Anyway, I just have to say that I can totally relate with your entry. Kahit na yung getting into something you can't see in the long term: because you just HAVE TO. Ganon lang yun.
Overnight ka naman dito, para makapag usap tayo.
--ngurk. kilala mo na ako.
Anonymous
12:31 AM
Turns out I have more substance and understanding than I thought. :p
Good night!
--me again