i haven't been posting anything "read-able" for the past few weeks. things have been up and down more frequently than normal. reality basically slapped me in the face. it was difficult, and it hurt. but i'm glad that those things happened, and those words were said. it could be worse. some reality bytes:
  • "great teams wax and wane."-- rick olivares. the ateneo blue booters have ended the 1st round of the UAAP football season with 1 win, the rest losses. sad to say, the 3-peat team is indeed gone. even with championship veterans pat ozaeta and gino tongson in the team, the majority of the roster is still composed of rookies. i want to get angry at some of them (especially the one by the name of kurt alvarez), but then i realized that it's not worth it, nor is it going to achieve anything. it's sad not seeing captain mickey ingles, best striker roger lastimado, mickee gimarino (the best midfielder for us!), alvin perez, jp merida, jerwin belina, jerome reyes, zaldy maranon, peter mortillero -- and all those players who we supported throughout college. i guess it's just sinked in recently that our batch is really gone. and the blue booter batch we now should support are the "new blood" -- rs mantos, jj clemente, james arco, jiggy sulit, gab siojo (yes, another siojo), mico noel, derick candelaria, and others who hope to continue the legacy.
  • "what cannot be cured must be endured." --and i forgot what novel i got this from (hehe). i have come to accept the inevitable that is work. more specifically, working in IBM. i won't elaborate anymore since i have been ranting about this since forever. put simply, as long as i can handle it, i might as well stick with it. my manager actually gave me a rating i honestly feel like i don't deserve -- a 2! oh well, at least i'm getting paid (for doing things i don't like and for not caring about the company) -- i know it's not much of a consolation, but hey, i get to actually save this time.
  • money isn't everything. i thought i would be happy just getting paid, but there's more to work AND life. i realized that i would rather do something i love and get paid very little, than getting a higher salary for do something i don't give a shit about. but for now, i'm surviving with the idea that i can eventually resign and that i am not alone --a lot of people in this world also hate their jobs. haha.
  • "it's not a matter of compatibility; it's how you work things out." --my dad. and making it work is so much more difficult than what is anticipated.
  • there is a God, and He is actually telling me something. i heard this passage thrice in 3 weeks already:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. --1 Corinthians 13.

i thought that maybe, just maybe, God is telling me something.

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had a weird dream. there was a guy touching my ass (again).