lisaisms

"Every great magic trick consists of three acts. The first act is called "The Pledge"; The magician shows you something ordinary, but of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn"; The magician makes his ordinary some thing do something extraordinary. Now if you're looking for the secret... you won't find it, that's why there's a third act called, "The Prestige"; this is the part with the twists and turns, where lives hang in the balance, and you see something shocking you've never seen before."

this film is fucking great. it's rare that a film leaves me at awe-- and this is such an instance. it's the kind that makes you second guess yourself all throughout the film and you don't know which character you're going to side with. christopher priest is brilliant. and the cinematography is excellent, of course. there are very few effects, but everything else, especially the acting, contributes into raising this film above most films i've seen this year. not to mention the probability that this film will mark the peak of a lot of people's careers: christopher nolan, hugh jackman, christian bale and scarlett johansson. everybody should absolutely watch this film.

and i absolutely did not recognize david bowie.

----------

someday. masasama din ako jan.

"Things need not have happened to be true. Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot."

i love to dream. one of the reasons i like sleep is because i want to know what dream i'll remember when i wake up. and that is also why i absolutely love Neil Gaiman's Sandman. when i remember a dream, i make it a point to tell somebody, or else i will forget. why? because i believe we dream for a reason. what's the reason? i don't know. a view of our subconscious? prophesy? we can't tell for sure. but they are certainly entertaining, whether they are "sweet dreams" or nightmares.

it has been a while since i last remembered a dream, and it has been a while since i dreamt of something that i considered "significant." people have been telling me to write them down.. this is the first time.


i was wearing a white dress. and i was with somebody. it was a guy. we were walking on the beach... such soft, fine white sand. there were trees in the distance. i looked in between branches, as i usually do, to catch the sun's rays. it was peaceful.

when i looked at what was ahead of us, i saw a wooden structure, painted white, in the middle of the beach. i don't know what it's called, but it was huge, with four posts, no walls, and the roof was slitted-- not exactly a roof at all. there was a man under that structure. he seemed kind and fatherly. apparently, he was quite happy to see me. the guy i was with earlier was gone.

and there were birds. a lot of birds. birds which seemed like a cross between a stork and an eagle, but the sounded like crows. and they were above us, perched on the slits.

without saying anything, the man took out a piece of paper from his pocket: money. when he stretched out his hand, a bird swooped down and got the bill with its beak. for some reason, i was amused by this, and did the same. after a while, i looked up and saw that most of the birds were holding pieces of paper. i was tired of stretching my arm, and so what i did was grab a handful of bills and through them in the air. we were surrounded by sand, birds, and money.

and time seemed to slow down. for some seconds, everything was in slow motion as money floated and birds flew around me.

when time finally "normalized," i realized that i was alone. i looked around, and there was house near the trees.

the house, like everything else that surrounded me, was immaculately white. the only splash of color was the gate which was fire-engine red. i entered the gate, and the man who i was with earlier, came out from the side of the house. i was relieved to know that i was not alone and he has not left me.

and i thought, "There you are."


"'And then she woke up.' I suppose there are worse endings."

before i forget, here's an article by my former high school teacher, mr. allan rono.

somebody asked me why i'm so into UAAP basketball and why i went to the Gesu eventhough we lost... i could've answered him with that article.

last week: aba, nabuhay. para sabihing may bagong girlfriend na siya.

today: aba, nabuhay. para sabihing engaged na siya.

at magkaibang lalaki yan ah. wahahaha. winner talaga.

pota.

it hurts to hear that he has moved on to another relationship. it hurts to hear how much he loves the girl. it hurts to hear how much the girl loves him. it hurts to hear that he is willing to overcome obstacles just to be with her. it hurts to hear that they have met each other's families and that they actually get along. it hurts to hear that he is willing to go all the way to paranaque. it hurts to hear that he listens to what she tells him. it hurts to hear that he does not get mad at her. it hurts to hear that he goes down on his knees to apologize to her. it hurts to hear that this girl is the one to finally changed him. it hurts to hear that the girl is everything i'm not. it hurts to hear that he has found a better girl.

thank you for making me feel like shit, for making me feel that i was never worth it. grabe, salamat talaga.

i feel sad, regretful, jealous, angry and unappreciated.

and yet, i also feel happy (and relieved).

i am happy that he finally found the right girl. I am happy that he is in a good relationship. i am happy that he has become a better person because of her. i am happy that everything in his life is finally falling into place.

i just wish things in my life also fall into place soon.

pero pota. kina-karma ata ako.

but i am okay. seriously. i just hope he stops:

• comparing our relationship to theirs. fine, i know this relationship (and girl) is better, but dammit, stop rubbing it in my face.
  
• letting me know that he's comparing, at the least.
• calling me just to say how much he misses her. ok, you miss her, i get it. but do not follow it up with...
  
• flirting. where and when in this universe is flirting with your ex appropriate?!

after overtime, the score was 76-74. the ateneo blue eagles lost the championship to the UST growling tigers.

despite all the [emotional] stress yesterday, i don't feel as bad as i expected. after the game, we went straight to the church of the gesu-- like we always do :) and somehow, being with the ateneo community and listening to fr. ben makes it all better. somehow, the atmosphere was transformed from disappointment to thanksgiving. by the time the mass ended, it was as if the fact of the loss was put aside, and everyone was congratulating the players for a wonderful job this season and wishing them luck for the next.

the team and coach norman black apoligized for the loss. but honestly, i think that for us true blue fans, it doesn't matter, because we know how hard they've worked throughout the season and how much everyone's performance has improved. i hate it when i hear others putting the blame on the players, and not just this season. in this case, some are blaming JC intal, who missed crucial layups in the last minutes of the game, and ford arao, for his performance (or lack thereof). i think it's really sad that some people do not realize how much effort these people have given throughout the season. nobody is perfect. players cannot be at their best all the time. to all blamers: can you do better then them? probably not.

i understand sir rono when he said that it's just a game; sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. it all boils down on how you played the game. yes, we were all sad and disappointed, but this year's team showed heart we haven't seen after the championship in 2002. they all did their very best, especially captains JC intal (intal inside), doug kramer (who let the doug out?) and macky escalona (i *heart* macky). it's also great to see other players step up, like chris tiu (it's tiu-sday) and zion laterre (laterre-minator). and with this, i really can't be bitter about the loss. it was a good fight. and more than that, this team, this band of brothers, made me fall in love with UAAP basketball all over again. ONE BIG FIGHT!


and a nice read to end the season: Final Blue Eagles Bulletin: The Season That Was