i finally got this template to work!!! :)

still a few bugs to figure out though...

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[warning: mushpit and angstgarden ahead]


i have been thinking about him a lot recently. i hate it. he's on my mind all the freaking time. i think about us: where we are and where we're headed. and it hurts.

i like him A LOT. i like us A LOT. i knew from the start that this isn't going to be easy. i knew that it's probably a bad decision for us to be this way. but what did i do? nothing. did i say anything? no. and after several weeks, i am like other girls. i got attached. but i'm not really surprised.

unfortunately, i feel that i'm alone in this. i may be ready, but he's not. heck, i don't even think that he wants something more than what we have now. then again, i don't blame him; it is me, after all. he probably realizes how difficult it is to be with me. (wow. it's me liking a person who doesn't like me back. what a surprise.)

honestly, my heart aches when i think about him. it really freakin' hurts. it's the crushing feeling all over again. and i feel that if this goes on any longer i'll freakin' BREAK.


whew.