this week has been an emotional roller coaster ride. i'm not sure where to begin or if i should (or could) even say anything, but i feel that i should at least post something about it.

first of all, i never meant for any of It to happen. sure, i was half-wishing for it in some way, but i never really consciously decided to do something about it.

i also did not expect to (fine, i'm gonna say it) actually feel This Way about him.

i don't know how i manage to torture myself into having even a tinge of hope that we can actually Be, when in reality, there's no way in hell he would be interested in me. oh well, maybe it's because even if i hate to admit it, i really am a romantic. eeeewww.

i am never going to ask for signs again. they give me headaches and insomnia.